We would have chose you!

I left work for Toronto in the middle of a rare and monotonous project, comparable to copying the phone book to Excel. I came back with the hope that my replacement had had the time to finish the work I’d begun. She didn’t. The one thing that this project has given me is the chance to listen to audio books. I’ve listened my way through hours of “Freakonomics”, “What Remains” and finally the short “About Alice”. That last one related a story that reminded me of Sébastien… Alice, the wife of journalist and novelist Calvin Trillin, had been at one point a summer camp leader, and befriended a little girl she took pity on. The girl, called Elle, had developmental problems and was fed like Sébastien, through a feeding tube in her stomach. As the story goes, Alice was sitting with Elle during a game of “duck, duck, goose”. Elle was tagged and asked Alice if she wouldn’t mind holding the letters she had in her hands as she ran around the circle. Alice accepted, and holding the letters, she could see that the one on top was from Elle’s mother. Alice’s curiosity got the better of her as she wondered what kind of parents this happy and energetic girl would have. She peeked and read a sentence: “If God had given us all the children in the world, Elle, we would have chose you.”

In many ways, those words sum up the time I spent in Toronto… The rush of being in big-city Toronto, feeling energized by the throngs of people that you pushed your way through, the stroller like the bow of a ship in a sea of people… The regular visits for dialysis, the friendly staff and the cheers that would arise from the annual SickKids radio-thon as patients and parents told stories and people donated… The staff at the stores in the mall that all loved to see the handsome Sébastien, some remembering him from previous visits, others finding him too cute to ignore… The pulse of it drew me in and I chose to enjoy every moment. Sébastien would make us laugh, asking us in his usual soft voice at inopportune hours for “pop” or “om” his words for Raunchy Ranch flavored popcorn from Kernels and food, preferably of the mini-pizza-bagel variety. And while he ate, he’d have a ritual of reenacting “Elmo”, “airplane” and “wow”, spreading his arms straight out for “airplane”, and holding his hands to his cheeks for “wow”. In the end, Jasmina included that on his star, posted on the radio-thon’s wishing wall… That Papa could always be here, and that Sébastien could visit Elmo.

In the afternoon, or evening, Sébastien’s favorite game to play was bowling. He’d request it by pointing to the pile of toys under the living room window and saying “ball”. He would patiently wait for me to lign up the plastic pins, while holding the slippery ball against his belly. He would throw the ball every time, each time edging his way a bit closer to the pins, until I’d say it was time to “scoot” back, and I’d slide him back so that his feeding tube hung less taught from his pole. As the game would go on, I decided he would wait less if he helped set up the pins along with me, while Dora held onto the ball. Then he would take the ball, whack down the pins closest to him and sometimes give Dora, or Elmo, or Diego, or Barney a turn at throwing the ball to the farther pins. I discovered he had pretty good aim…

And so many times throughout my stay, when Sébastien would charm us, or make Jasmina laugh, she would say: “I love you Sébastien!” or “I just love him!” as though the joy of having him with us was too much to hold in… What she meant all along was: “If God had given us all the children in the world, Sébastien, we would have chose you!”

Preschool

I don’t know what the chances are of meeting David during a weekday on a lunch hour walk… We work in different neighborhoods, my lunch hour is from 1 to 2, and I don’t always decide to visit the little French bookstore on Provencher unless I need to. But there he was, the smiling driver of the beige car that passed in front of me, as a Vital Transit bus moved on to leave him space on the snow-narrowed street. He’d just been to À la Page, taking advantage of a client re-scheduling to get the French activity books Jasmina could not find in Toronto. My book-oriented walk in the snow came from an evening call with Jasmina. A staff member asked Jasmina if she had registered Sébastien at a preschool in Toronto. Sébastien falls into a difficult category… for now, he’s special needs, and David and Jasmina want his schooling to be in French. It’s hard to imagine Sébastien heading off to school, and I think David and Jasmina have the same feeling, not doubting his ability to grow from the experience, but doubting that the teachers and bus drivers would be able to properly cater to his medical needs. It didn’t seem to be a concern for the staff member… if it was up to her, I think Sébastien might already be halfway out the door, on his way to Sunnybrook School. Given the situation, David and Jasmina have decided that for now, homeschooling would do the trick, until Sébastien is back in Winnipeg and can register closer to home, in French, merci!

Until then, the little family is anxious to be back “home” on Gerrard Street. Sébastien is getting better and Monday was his first walk outside since he’d been admitted. I inquire how the speech therapy classes are going… “It’s really interesting, they’re good teachers! There are four stages of speech development and Sébastien is at the third. The class ends around 9:30, and then I come back to tuck him in.” Sébastien is already starting to say two word sentences, and somehow we get on the subject of walking at night and Jasmina says that, apparently, if you walk confidently there’s less chance of being attacked, “though I’d probably never go out later than 11 in Toronto. I learned that Sébastien has to take the lead when we talk, and it’s made us closer.” She’s happy the program is all about early intervention.

“Is he back on the transplant list?” I ask… “Well, last Thursday, Sébastien went for a venogram and we’re just waiting for the results.” The venogram is the last test before getting back onto the transplant list, and hopes are high. The test is used to assess the  condition of the veins. In Sébastien’s case, it’s to be able to tell where to “hook up” the kidney during transplant. Sébastien’s new kidney will be near his groin, on the left side. I teased and said that we’d get Sébastien this t-shirt post-tranplant.

Wishing you all a good week!